Bride burning to bimbo bashing…

India has come a long way! During the nineteenth century we used to push the widow in her husband’s funeral pyre and call that a ‘Sati’. When that was banned, we started burning the young brides who did not bring enough cash for their worthless husbands. That was not legal so now our ‘guardians of Hindu morality’ have started bashing the bar frequenting bimbos. India sure is emerging with all these ‘Senas’ to protect our morality and the ‘Hindu Sanskriti’. Beating-up young and unprotected daughters the ‘Sainiks’ are well trained to be deployed at ‘Kargil’ to protect the ‘Hindu Rashtra’. The sub-zero temperatures would freeze the Sainik’s tushies and that is how we shall have peace in our cities! To save our national honor, these Senas should be led from the front by our moral leaders like Bal Thackerey, Praveen Togadia and Pramod Mutalik. If we are lucky we would loose all three as ‘Shaheeds’ in the lap of Himalayas. If they promise not to come back, we would pledge to build a statue for each, just like Shivaji. Just THINK about this phenomenal idea!

The fact of the matter is that I am so impressed with this Pramod Muthalik or Mutalik guy that I want to raise my own ‘Sena’ and it would be called, “Sri Ravana Sena”. As soon as I am able to organize this ‘Sena’, I would immediately abduct Pramod Mutalik’s wife and bring her to my ‘Vatica’ (Garden). She would be confined to the ‘Asoka Tree’, completely out-doors. Every morning I would perform a ‘tandav nratya’ to scare the shit out of her and then propose to her to marry me! In case Pramod Mutalik finds out that his wife is missing, he might launch an attack with his Sri Rama Sene (SRS) on my Sri Ravana Sena. Since my ‘Sena’ would be smaller than his because of the recession, I would request Renuka Chowdhury (Union Minister for Women and Child Development) to help me fight the imposing ‘sena’ of 40 goons of Pramod Mutalik. Renuka Chowdhury is the only minister who is not scared of this Mutalik guy! Palaniappan Chidambaram (now the Union Home Minister) is another brave guy who is not scared of this scary Pramod Bhai Mutalik.